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December 6, 2022

Archive for February 21, 2012

How To Handle Your Desires

How To Handle Your Desires

Now that we know that desires generate progress, let’s see how we’ve handled them throughout history. For the most part, we’ve had two ways of manipulating desires:

  1. Turning everything into habits, “taming” desires, or harnessing them into a daily routine;
  2. Diminishing and suppressing them.

Most religions use the first option, “tagging” each act with a reward. To motivate us to do what is considered good, our tutors and those around us reward us with positive feedback whenever we do something “right.” As we grow older, the rewards gradually stop, but our actions have become “tagged” in our minds as rewarding.

Once we are used to something, it becomes second nature to us. And when we act according to our nature, we always feel comfortable with ourselves.

The second way to handle our desires—by diminishing them—is primarily used by Eastern teachings. This approach follows a simple rule: Better to not want, than to want and not have, or in the words of Lao-tzu (604 BC – 531 BC), “Manifest plainness; embrace simplicity; reduce selfishness; have few desires” (The Way of Lao-tzu).

For many years, it seemed that we were getting by with just these two methods. Although we did not get what we wanted—because of the rule that when you have what you want, you no longer want it—the chase itself was gratifying. Whenever a new desire came along, we believed that this one would surely fulfill our wishes. We were hopeful as long as we kept dreaming; and where there is hope, there is life, even without actually fulfilling those dreams.

But our desires grew. They have become increasingly hard to satisfy with unfulfilled dreams, with an empty Kli, devoid of the filling it was meant to have. And thus, the two ways—taming desires and diminishing them—are facing a major challenge. When we can’t diminish our desires, we have no choice but to look for a way to satisfy them. In that state, we either abandon the old ways, or somehow combine them with a new way of searching.

A New Desire In Town

We have said that there are four degrees to the will to receive: a) physical desires for food, reproduction, and family; b) wealth; c) power and respect, sometimes separated into two distinct groups; and d) the desire for knowledge.

The four degrees are divided into two groups: 1) animal desires, the first degree, are shared by all living creatures; and 2) human desires, degrees two, three, and four, which are uniquely human. The latter group is the one that’s brought us to where we are today.

But today there is a new desire—the fifth degree in the evolution of the will to receive. As we’ve said in the previous chapter, The Book of Zohar writes that at the end of the 20th century a new desire will appear.

This new desire is not just another desire; it is the culmination of all the degrees of desires preceding it. It is not only the most powerful desire, but it contains unique features that differentiate it from all other desires.

When Kabbalists talk about the heart, they aren’t referring to the physical heart, but to desires of the first four degrees. But the fifth level of desire is essentially different. It wants satisfaction only from spirituality, not from anything physical. This desire is also the root of the spiritual growth one is destined to experience. For this reason, Kabbalists call this desire the “point in the heart.”

A New Method For A New Desire

When the “point in the heart” appears, one begins to shift from wanting worldly pleasures—sex, money, power, and knowledge—to wanting spiritual pleasures. Because this is a new kind of pleasure that we’re seeking, we also need a new method to satisfy it. The method to satisfy the new desire is called “the wisdom of Kabbalah” (the wisdom of how to receive).

To understand this new method, let’s look at the difference between the wisdom of Kabbalah, whose aim is to fulfill the desire for spirituality, and the methods used to fulfill all other desires. With our “ordinary” desires, we can usually define what we want quite easily. If I want to eat, I look for food; if I want respect, I act in a way that I believe will make people respect me.

But because I don’t quite know what spirituality is, how can I know what to do to attain it? Because in the beginning, we don’t realize that what we really want is to discover the Creator, we also don’t realize that we will need a new method to search for Him. This desire is so utterly different from anything we’ve ever felt before, it is unclear even to us. This is why the method of discovering and satisfying it is designated “The Wisdom of the Hidden.”

As long as all we wanted was food, social status, and—at most, knowledge—we didn’t need The Wisdom of the Hidden. We had no use for it, so it remained hidden. But its concealment does not mean that it was abandoned. On the contrary, for 5,000 years Kabbalists have been polishing and refining it for the time when people would need it. They have been writing simpler and simpler books to make Kabbalah understandable and more accessible.

They knew that in the future the whole world would need it, and they wrote that this would happen when the fifth level of desire appeared. Now this level has appeared, and those who recognize it feel the need for the wisdom of Kabbalah.

In Kabbalistic terms: To receive pleasure, you must have a Kli for it, a well-defined desire for a very specific pleasure. The appearance of a Kli forces our brains to search for a way to fill it with Ohr (Light). Now that many of us have “points in our hearts,” the wisdom of Kabbalah presents itself as a means to satisfy our desire for spirituality.

Tikkun – The Correction Of The Will To Receive

We have already said that the will to receive is a Catch-22: when I finally receive what I’ve been looking for, I almost immediately stop wanting it. And of course, without wanting it, I cannot enjoy it.

The desire for spirituality comes with its own pre-installed, unique mechanism to avoid this catch. This mechanism is called Tikkun (correction). A desire of the fifth level must first be “coated” with this Tikkun before it can be used efficiently and pleasurably.

Understanding the Tikkun will solve many common misunderstandings about Kabbalah. The will to receive has been the driving force behind every progress and change in the history of humanity. But the desire to receive has always been one to receive pleasure for self-gratification. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to receive pleasure, the intention to enjoy for self-gratification places us in opposition to Nature, the Creator. Therefore, by wanting to receive for ourselves we are separating ourselves from the Creator. This is our corruption, the reason for every misfortune and discontentment.

A Tikkun happens not when we stop receiving, but when we change the reason for which we are receiving, our intention. When we receive for ourselves, it is called “egoism.” When we receive in order to unite with the Creator, it is called “altruism,” meaning unity with Nature.

For example, would you enjoy eating the same food every day for months? Probably not. But this is exactly what babies are required to do. They have no choice in the matter. In fact, the only reason they agree to it is because they don’t know anything else. But surely there is only so much pleasure they can derive from eating, other than filling their empty stomachs.

Now, think of the baby’s mother. Imagine her face glowing as she is feeding her child. She is in heaven just watching her child eat healthily. The baby may (at most) be content, but the mother is elated.

Here’s what happens: Both the mother and the child enjoy the child’s desire for food. But while the child’s focus is on its own stomach, the mother’s pleasure is infinitely greater because of her delight in giving to her baby. Her focus is not on herself, but on her child.

It is the same with Nature. If we knew what Nature wanted of us, and fulfilled it, we would feel the pleasure of giving. Moreover, we would not feel it on the instinctive level that mothers naturally experience with their babies, but on the spiritual level of our bond with Nature.

In Hebrew—the original language of Kabbalah—an intention is called Kavana. Therefore, the Tikkun we need is to place the right Kavana over our desires. The reward for making a Tikkun and having a Kavana is the fulfillment of the last, the greatest of all wishes—the desire for spirituality, for the Creator. When this desire is fulfilled, one knows the system that controls reality, participates in its making, and eventually receives the keys and sits in the driver’s seat. Such a person will no longer experience life and death the way we do, but will effortlessly and joyfully flow through eternity in a never-ending stream of bliss and wholeness, united with the Creator.

Kabbalah Revealed: A Guide To A More Peaceful Life

The above text was taken from the book Kabbalah Revealed: A Guide To A More Peaceful Life by Dr. Michael Laitman with foreword by Prof. Ervin Laszlo. Also available as eBook (PDF, Kindle & ePub formats), and for free PDF download.

Free Kabbalah Course: Start Self-Study Immediately, Register For Live Classes Starting April 4

  

Raising Children To Choose Professions Suited To Their Inclinations

Raising Children To Choose Professions Suited To Their Inclinations

Dr. Anatoly Ulianov: One of the most important characteristics of a game is its competitive aspect.

There is a book titled How to Become the Parent You Never Had: A Treatment for Extremes of Fear, Anger and Guilt. This book starts out by saying that we are all winners because 500 million sperm cells competed, and the winner was…

Dr. Michael Laitman: Me.

Dr. Ulianov: Yes, I won. Since this competitive element was enrooted in us by Nature itself, how can we use it correctly?

Dr. Laitman: Let’s not talk about chance or about how this is programmed in Nature. In this particular competition the winner is the strongest one, the one who has special qualities.

A person who participates in the life of society or the environment on a multifaceted plane might be better than others in one way and worse than others in another way. But if every person finds the best way to apply his fortes and abilities, then the flaws of one person are “covered” by the merits of another. A happy person is one who has found the optimal way to fulfill himself, and this is something he has to discern within. If he can be fast, alert, and steadfast, if he can overcome adversity and win over others, then his victory will benefit him and the people around him.

I would particularly like to underline that the victory will be virtuous if its aim is to use one’s abilities to provide maximal help to the environment, to society. Then it will be expressed in the common human system and will remain impressed there, and will be recorded in his account.

But if a person realizes himself incorrectly, then despite having wonderful talents, he will have the opposite result. We have to bring every child’s abilities to light and encourage their development.

When I was starting out in college, it was very fashionable to major in science and technical fields, and these departments tried to lure everyone in. I remember how agitated the students were and how great the disappointment was afterwards.

I understand and respectfully recall several of my classmates who left the studies not because they weren’t successful. They saw that technical studies did not have the romance they had dreamed of. Working with impulses and calculating parameters? They became convinced that this was absolutely not the profession they wanted. They left without much hesitation, and they were right to do so because they found their calling elsewhere.

In our system of upbringing we are trying to recognize a child’s inclinations early on so he won’t make mistakes. He has to see and become familiar with all the areas of human activity, and find himself during the period of his upbringing in our system. The search for the appropriate profession is very important and takes up a lot of time in our life. It’s a joy when a person finds himself in a certain profession.

Dr. Ulianov: So there is nothing dangerous about expressing special talents, and we shouldn’t try to even children out?

Dr. Laitman: No. On the contrary, we have to bring out their talents during the teenage period. We are preparing children so that by age 13 or 14 they will start studying a university level curriculum.

Before that they have to clearly discern what is right for them. Our task is to push them to make the choice that fits their inclinations instead of being dependent on opportunities to rise on the corporate ladder or the size of their future salary.

Dr. Ulianov: But is their contribution to the common good always evaluated?

Dr. Laitman: Of course. Otherwise one’s inner parameters will not correspond to the chosen profession, he won’t benefit anyone, and he won’t be happy with himself either. The right solution to this problem is good both for the individual and the society.

I remember how back in my time everyone across the board entered technical departments because this was in high demand by the government and the times required it. Everyone else were looked down on. Pedagogical and humanitarian departments became empty since everyone went into science and engineering.

As a result, I think the true value of this generation was never revealed. It quickly became exhausted, leaving behind a hollow-hearted environment.

Dr. Laitman: Yes, there is even a term, “the technical intelligentsia,” which was in many ways not occupied by technical matters, but the liberal arts.

Dr. Ulianov: When I wrote my dissertation at Russia’s Institute of Philosophy, I found many former “techies” there. But once people received a technical education, they left and learned some other profession because in their youth they were lured to the wrong place, so later they still changed their profession.

The Psychology Of The Integral Society

The above points were taken from the book The Psychology of the Integral Society by Dr. Michael Laitman and Dr. Anatoly Ulianov. Also available as eBook (PDF, Kindle & ePub formats).

  





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