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Excuse me, but I will add that never, in my wildest dreams, could I have imagined the depth, and excrutiating Pain I have been going through. I seem to be everything about which I judged in others critically. I face my arroance. In the presence of whomever is reading, I beg the Creator to show me, I am willing to learn, how to fulfill your love for me. I beg, without shame, to be shown where to begin to correct the shape, the reason for my vessel. I am nothing without you and I crawl to you. There is only you.
I ask to know right from wrong, and to please you and create a somewhat Kabbalistic scientist., (!)

Oh, the depth and tenacity of my ego’s willfullness is truly a thing for which there is no language.
I say, “I despair.” Do I? Yes, of course, but for what reasons?
I must take the first move, but who graces me with the breath of the intention?
It is a question of which I break first, my willfullness or my neck.
Yours,
Jo Spiller

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